You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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