I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
