whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
