I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
