What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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