Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
