Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
