i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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