Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize