is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
