im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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