Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
