I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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