my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
