how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize