Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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