RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Quick, to the slutcave!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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