My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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