can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
