i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
