I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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