I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
