What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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