Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think we might need a safe word for this...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
