Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
