even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
