All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
