ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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