I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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