Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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