but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
