It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
