I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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