I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
