she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
