I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
