I wanna bring you to show and tell
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Two words: nipple clamps
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