At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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