Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
