I'm going to rape someone's good day.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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