Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
