if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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