Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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