we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
