he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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