You can't motorboat a personality
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
