Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
