You're so nebulous sometimes
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize