i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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