he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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