Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
