I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
