you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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