i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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