She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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