It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
