You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Randomize
