he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
