Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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