I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Still dying that you shit outside
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
