i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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