I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
