found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
