I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
