Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
