Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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