So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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